Asking of the Designer what we would of any other designer (The atheist delusion)

by whateverist , Saturday, July 30, 2011, 22:49 (4865 days ago) @ xeno6696

Nice to get the background. I'll probably stick to my 'nym as I'm ambivalent about making my religious feelings known at school. (I'm not on a mission to do in religion and I don't want for kids to have to confront my lack of religion in order to have a useful student/teacher relationship.)-You have such a different family back ground than I do. I'm the second oldest of 7 if you can imagine. My father was non-officer military so we moved every few years. My father was very religious and his grandfather had been a minister of a small church in a small town in Oregon. My mother was religious but for her that had much to do with good and bad as intuited at a gut level. I can't ever remember her asserting any religious dogma and I never saw her pick up a bible. My father was the one who was always pouring over the bible. He was the polar opposite of my mother in that he was all about dogma, with no empathy or critical reflection whatsoever. I believe he looked to the bible for his marching orders. For him the point of religion was to do whatever god damn well wanted you to do. -I barely remember going to church but we stopped sometime before I started going to school. Probably because he wasn't around and it would be a lot of bother for one woman alone to manage so many of us. Nonetheless I remember having a very vivid sense of god's presence. If you'd asked me then what I thought god was I would have said "the best", meaning one who would always know the best thing to do in any situation for the betterment of all. I envisioned god sitting around alone forever, always intending what was best for everyone without ever usurping their choices. -Early on it struck me as suspect that god would give a hoot about our 'praises' as my father would call it. It also struck me as lame that what god would most want from us is that we tow the line, following all the commandments at all cost. I decided that what god would want would be true companionship and that could only come if we were worthy. To be worthy, I decided meant doing what I felt was best for my own reasons. It meant holding myself accountable not for following simple rules but for figuring out what was best and then choosing that. When we met I wouldn't have to say, I was only following orders. Wrong or right, I'd be able to defend my actions.-This relationship with my 'imaginary friend' had a huge influence on who I am. I sometimes worry about how the young can develop without such an experience. That is part of why I'm in no hurry to disparage or dispose of religion. If only as a developmental tool perhaps it serves a purpose.-So in early elementary school I was a huge fan of god. I have an uncle who is an atheist and as much as I liked him, I could never get over what an ingrate he was. But in a few years I started having serious doubts. I remember in 5th grade thinking a lot about whether god as I had understood it could possibly be real. By middle school I reluctantly decided against it with a huge sense of loss. By then my values and disposition were pretty well set so I have to admit that culturally I am a christian even though I don't believe any of it.-Well that's got to be enough or too much.