Language and Reality (Humans)

by dhw, Tuesday, April 05, 2011, 11:34 (4980 days ago) @ dhw

Philosophy v. Common Sense-CUSTOMER: I'm looking for a dress.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Certainly, madam. What colour?
CUSTOMER: Black.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Black is not a colour.
Exit customer.
****************-WIFE (during power cut): It's so dark ... I can't see a thing!
HUSBAND: Don't be silly, darling. There's no such thing as darkness. Darkness is simply an absence of....Aaaaargh!
Falls down stairs and breaks his neck.
****************-BANK MANAGER: You have nothing in your account.
CUSTOMER: Nothing is not real. It's merely an absence of something.
BANK MANAGER: We're taking your house and all your possessions.
CUSTOMER: You can't do that! I'll be left with nothing!
BANK MANAGER: Don't worry. Nothing is not real. It's merely an absence of something.
****************-FAUSTUS: Now hast thou but one bare hour to live,
And then thou must be damned perpetually;
Stand still, you ever-moving spheres of heaven,
That time may cease, and midnight never come.
PHILOSOPHER: Don't worry, old boy. Time is not real. It's just a human construct.
FAUSTUS: Then am I saved?
PHILOSOPHER: Ah, well, um...
*****************