Here are a few (slightly edited) gems from the Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations: - 1) Someone asked Bertrand Russell what he would say when he died and was brought face to face with his maker. He replied: "God, I shall say, why did you make the evidence for your existence so insufficient?" - 2) "An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support." (John Buchan) - 3) "Atheism [is] a sort of crutch for those who can't stand the reality of God." (Tom Stoppard) - 4) "Go to church this Sunday ... avoid the Christmas rush." (Graffito) - 5) "In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it." (Woody Allen) - 6) "I'm a man of no convictions ... at least I think I am." (Christopher Hampton) - 7) "The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around." (Herb Caen) - 8) "If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said 'No'." (Stevie Smith) - 9) "Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God." (Lenny Bruce) - 10) "I do benefits for all religions ... I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality." (Bob Hope)