Whether you're burning puddings, candles, 
 Midnight oil or joss sticks,
Whether you're theists, atheists,
 Panentheists or agnostics,
Whether you're tucked up snug indoors -
 While the outside world is storming ... 
Or shivering in the icy blasts 
 (Produced by global warming?),
Whether you're terrified by Teheran 
 And a nuclear Iran,
Or wondering how we'll ever leave 
 Iraq, Afghanistan,
Whether banks and politicians 
 Drive you to depression,
Or you trust their selfless love 
 To end this grim recession, 
Anything that cheers us up 
 Must be a good idea,
So Merry Christmas, everyone, 
 And have a great New Year.