Love (Humans)

by dhw, Wednesday, June 12, 2013, 12:28 (3933 days ago)

DAVID(under "Theistic evolution"): We are back to how do you know that you love your wife, or she loves you?-TONY: Fortunately I do not suffer with this. In my world view, love is an action word, completely demonstrable. If that action is accompanied by a feeling, so much the better, but feelings are flighty things which often waver in their strength, while action can be resolute. Which is better, to demonstrate love even when you are emotionally wiped out and numb, or to demonstrate it when you are happy and feeling good?-I would suggest that actions are motivated by feelings: if I love someone, I am likely to act more sympathetically than if I can't stand them. People can "demonstrate" love in order to deceive ... Mr X "lovingly" kisses his wife and kids goodbye (action) before flying off to a business conference that has long blonde hair and a negligee. But if he feels love for his wife and kids, I would suggest he's less likely to fly off.
 
How do we know we love someone or are loved by them? I'd hate to define love, but I recognize it when I feel it in myself, so I know I love my family because of my feelings, and I hope my actions show what I feel. Similarly, I believe my family feel what I feel, though I can only judge by their actions. "Feelings are flighty things": yeah, well everything human is flighty, but actions in my experience are generally short-term, and DEPEND on feelings! So I'm afraid I take the opposite view to yours: just as grief is the emotion that makes you cry (action), fear the emotion that makes you scream (action), love is a feeling which expresses itself when you say (action) or do (action) things that will help, comfort, bring happiness to those you love.


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