My Sensational Discovery (Humans)

by dhw, Saturday, July 21, 2012, 12:17 (4507 days ago)

DAVID (under "Higgs (best commentary"): This is the best commentary I've seen. Higgs reminds us that you cannot get something from nothing.-http://philosophyinthecity.info/barry-dainton-on-the-higgs-boson-particle/-[...] "far from answering the ultimate questions, the discovery of the Higgs still leaves a great deal of work for physicists to do. [...] in the last couple of decades we have discovered that ordinary matter—the properties of which are explained by the standard model—only make up a few per cent of the universe: the "dark" matter and energy which make up more than 90% of the cosmos remain mysterious. As it happens, the scientists at CERN are now looking for a few more billion Euros to upgrade their accelerator to take on these new challenges, so it isn't perhaps surprising that we've been hearing more about all the work which remains to be done."-Ladies and gentlemen,
 
Unknown to the rest of the world, I have been secretly working on the mystery of dark energy and dark matter, which make up more than 90% of the cosmos. I believe I have solved it. The key to the mystery is a particle which I have modestly named the dhw StickoPlasto. If confirmed, this will explain precisely why dark energy and dark matter are dark, how dark energy transforms itself into dark matter and how dark matter transforms itself into dark energy. By its very nature, the dhw StickoPlasto is invisible, but without it, dark energy and dark matter would no longer be dark, or energy, or matter. I happen to live in a place (Taunton, Somerset, England) where conditions for the detection of the dhw StickoPlasto are optimal, and all that is required is the construction of a machine which I have already invented and named the StickoPlasto Universal Detector (SPUD). This will cost a mere £10,000,000 to build and operate, and unlike CERN it requires a staff of only one (plus my wife to bring in the tea). I would therefore be most grateful if all readers would kindly support my application for this relatively tiny grant, which is (almost) guaranteed to result in an unprecedented advancement of our understanding of the universe, as well as bringing much joy to the dhw household.